Serving with Slaysia, Ep. 4

Asia… Asia, Asia: Asia. Is a very real thing. And reality will deal. In increasing measure. Well into the forseeable future. Asia is a Hollywood Renaissance: Black, Female, French, Bulldog. Serving for the stars. Slaying for life. Sitting sideways. Shading moonlight. Asia didn’t sign up for this, but — as a wise man once said: you don’t sign up for what you’re born into. Asia was born to slay for life and serve the light. Werk. It. Black. Sheesus. #amen

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Act 1: Serving “I’ll Worry About My Opposable Thumbs – You Worry About Your Data Plan” Realness

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Act 2: Serving “Let Them Eat Couture” Realness

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Act 3: Serving “Function, meet Fashion; Conjunction Funcshion, meet the Finest Hook Up This Side of Neverland” Realness #creativerebelleion

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Act 4: Serving “GRAIN-FREE MEANS CAGE-FREE MEANS KANYE CAPS – LOCALS ONLY MEANS LOCALS ONLY: #CHICKENS” Realness

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Act 5: Serving “Cosmopolitan Coming-of-Age” Realness… where Botticelli meets the Bildungsroman #HereComesKojiCottontail #PigsLoveTruffles #MaturationStation

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Act 6: Serving … I can’t… Look, at, that, face. The realness can’t be contained by quotation demarcation. Let’s note, though, that Asia has a diamond and pearl collar that serves “Loving Me Is Like Chewing On These” Realness. She has a purse. Asia, has a… gold clutch, that serves “Reverse Ownership” meets “More Studded V, Mother Monster Couldn’t Get Through To Me” Realness; while the collective spread gives pure “Champagne Meets Crystalline On The Solo Picnic Scene” and “Close Down Roseland, Open Up Rosegarden” meet “The Reality of Not Allowing This Face To Fool You – I Beg Of You, Please Realize Said State of All Proximal Realities” Realness, to the utmost… Um, and no – I know, but we can’t right now with the over-the-shoulder… it’s, it’s much too much… Asia knows the collective sentiment.

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Act 7: Serving “Hold Your Head High, Paws (Figuratively Considering) To The Sky… They Gon’ Try to Try Ya, but They Can’t Deny Ya #keepitmovinghigher” with an incomparable dose of For the Stars, For the Gods, Honoring For the Selfie Nation” Realness … and a side of “The Only Time I Envision ‘En’ before a ‘V’ is when I’m Freeing My Mind with 90s R&B #Invision #EnVogue” meets “My Champagne Glass Remains Half Full, I Am Puppy Ambition – Never Thirsty #sipstea.” #educationisthemotivation #readupchildren

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Act 8: Serving “Keep In Mind That I’m An Artist – And I’m Sensitive About My Skin” meets *”Applause” VEVO Certified Voice* “that scene – my dog” Realness with a daughter dose of “some Eliza Doolittle realness. My life is cinema.” Realness. Um, and again – can’t even with the diamonds (crystals?) in the ears… she hears you loud and alchemically (Swarovski?) clear… girl’s best doublegem twins #SecretSafe

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Act 9: Serving “Planet Billy GOAT Plush” Realness #ShortAndSweet #KeepItRealDotDotDotClean

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Act 10: Serving “Scent of a Recommendation” meets “Soothe You Can Use” Realness

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Act 11: Serving “Eye Saw The Sign” meets “Hush, Puppy Love” Realness

(… Meanwhile, on Planet Fainting Goat, I’m serving “I just came to littlemonsters.com to have a good time, and ever since they kicked me off – for what I assume to be underutilization of said platform – I’m feeling really attacked, and bullied, right now” Surreality… neither here nor there, just a parenthetical aside. #placemodspleaseadvise)

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Watch This Space: … and those Brown Eyes.

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